Creative Constipation

It's funny how frustrating creative constipation can be.
Well, funny for everyone else, I suppose.
For me, it's been like my brain is bung-ed up and I have a constant noise in my mind with all the ideas and possibilities crammed together in a teeny, tiny space. I imagine my resulting bitchiness has been a delight to be around.

I wrote a story several years ago, and have been avoiding the dreaded rewrite. But seriously, this shit needs to be done - the story has potential. The major flaws in it are the main veins of the story, though. And I've been wracking my brain for almost three weeks trying to iron out the answers. Because they involve the very roots of the story, and I don't want to lose certain elements, it's been excruciating trying to find the answer.

When I'm working, I'm thinking about The Story. When I'm driving, I'm thinking about The Story. When I'm doing homework with the kids, I'm thinking about The Story. Virtually everything I do has been permeated by this fucking Story.

But last night, I had a breakthrough. And it was from - as Tolkien said, - "The unlikeliest of creatures." My very un-literary, guitarist-husband, Kyle.

I was ranting about my creative constipation (again) and I concluded with, "-AND IT'S SO FUCKING FRUSTRATING! It would be as if you had a song you couldn't figure out!"
He uncharacteristically answered wisely: "Well, when I can't figure out a song, it usually means I have to figure out my tuning. Maybe you just need to figure out your tuning?"

I think I probably growled in response, but I then had a long, hot bath and thought about what he said.
Change my tuning.
Maybe I was looking at these plot knots all wrong. Maybe if I changed how I was looking at my story, and changed what I expected my character to do, and why, I could muddle through this.

I ended up soaking in the tub for over an hour just pondering my story and I worked through a few points, but I wasn't there yet. I still kept asking myself WHY on a few elements.

So I went to sleep, and got up with the kids to get them ready for school.
As they were eating breakfast, I was in the kitchen stretching.
*BACK STORY* Just so this next part makes sense, I have been suffering some massive back pain, as well as working 2 jobs to frantically cover our finances, while dealing with some stressful family drama. 
So the husband walks in, and I'm bent over touching my toes, and I moan about how sore my back is, and he replies, "Why? From carrying the weight of the family on it?" (Lol, smart-ass!)
And just like that, the fog lifted. His comment made everything click into place with my story. I didn't need to keep asking why, why, why does my character has to do all these things, and sacrifice everything? She has to. Just like I am stuck doing what I have to everyday, she has to sacrifice as well. It's just the card we were dealt.

And like that, the floodgates are open. Ideas and answers are flowing like a freakin' river!
But, of course, I have no time to write.
I have to go to work.
*le sigh*

Hello Again!

Hi! Remember me? Geez, I can't believe how long it's been! Seriously!

Now, I'm nowhere near ready to tackle a book update, since it's been months since my last post. BUT, I'm gonna share a big one I began in November and never actually posted: The process I went through to give my daughter a kick-ass Honey Lemon costume for Halloween this past October. I wanted to share this mostly because there was limited resources online for me, and someone else might end up needing the same thing! So here goes!

Summer 2015 - First viewing of Big Hero 6
My daughter decides she HAS to be Honey Lemon for Halloween this year; we all agree Honey Lemon looks like the grown-up version of her.

September 2015
My daughter reminds me that she wants to be Honey Lemon for Halloween this year. I look online to discover that thankfully, such a costume exists. I shrug it off. No problem, we'll be able to find that.

October 1st-7th, 2015
The daughter reminds again. Repeatedly. So excited to be Honey Lemon. Can't wait to be Honey Lemon. Hey Mom, when are we getting my Honey Lemon costume? I keep reminding myself that I should really get online and find out the best place to get it, ie: the cheapest.

October 8th-13th, 2015
Start popping into stores to find that no one has any idea what I'm talking about. Honey who? Oh! Big Hero 6! Yes, we have Baymax. Or Hiro. That's it.

October 14th, 2015
I go online again. There it is, phew. What's that? What do you mean SOLD OUT? Soooooo...guess I'm making this thing. At least I have almost 3 weeks. What's that, honey? Your school costume day is the 28th. Oh, no problem. 2 weeks? Oh, sure, no problem. Sure, sure.

So, after haunting Pinterest, I found a few cosplays, and a few parents like me who did this up for their kids. The only thing was, they did theirs over several months.
Yikes.
So head down, ass up, into the foray I went.
To remind you, this is Honey Lemon:

The first thing tackled was the chem-balls. I bought styrofoam balls, skewered them into an empty box, and then spray painted them in the red, purple, and orange of Honey Lemon's chem-balls.

Next, I tackled her dress. Now, I'm hella cheap and at this point I'm terrified of my impending deadline. So I figure I'll hit up a Value Village and find one easy-peasy. Right? Yeah, not so much. So I settle for a terrible 2XL flashy, sleeveless tee. And over a couple days of altering and adding trim, I turn it into a dress that sort-of, kind-of resembles Honey Lemon's.

I found the purple leggings at Walmart for $4, and thought the best way to match the arms to the leggings was to use the same thing. So I bought a second pair, cut them up, and sewed them on as the long sleeves. My daughter was mortified that she'd be wearing pants on her arms.

After that, I began the armor. I lucked out by finding a pleather-looking fabric in the clearance section of the fabric store. I was so pumped that it looked like leather, but felt like a stretchy spandex, that way it would look very real, but be stretchy and comfortable for my kid. My bubble was burst when the fabric store associate informed me it went on clearance because it was just awful to work with. And she was right, it SUCKED to sew. I ended up having to come up with some pretty creative ways to sew this to the padding, since it would NOT sew to itself. 

Once the torturous process was over, I was actually really happy with how it turned out - especially since I had done it in only a few evenings. I also decided against the "breast" armor. After all, she was only 6.

The last thing was the purse. Yikes.

I had left it for last, because it was so daunting. I had found a purse at Value Village in the sort-of-right shape, but had a really hard time finding a fabric in the right shade of orange to cover it with. I eventually went with a roll of this "all-purpose fabric" from Walmart. It was $10 and I didn't even know if it would work. Supposedly you could glue, sew, etc with this "fabric." Turns out, this shit was AWESOME to work with.

I stripped the purse of it's adornments and straps, and I found a yellow edging to sew onto the fabric. I covered the little bag and sewed an open top onto a back, to make the front flap. I used printable fabric paper from Staples to print the design of Honey Lemon's buttons for her purse. I wanted something that I would be able to shine a light through. Here is the picture I found on Pinterest from that awesome Dad who did this for his daughter:

Then I sewed the flap onto the purse body.

I knew my daughter wouldn't be able to use the purse as a purse, as the most important piece was making it so the buttons could light up. Now, the Pinterest Dad that made this purse for his kid had painstakingly ran wires to light up each individual button on the screen. I had zero time for that, so I opted for a flat light that my daughter could press to make the whole screen light up. After all, at this point, I had only about 4 days left before her costume day at school. I found a flat purse light at the Dollar Store, and sewed it into the opening behind the fabric paper. The end result was actually super cool.

It then occurred to me that I hadn't even had my daughter try any of this on yet, and holy crap, it better fit! Here is our first test-run.

I made a wide strap for all the balls to fit onto, the way Honey Lemon wears hers. Since the orange fabric was all-purpose, it reacted to adhesive wonderfully, so I used an adhesive Velcro to stick all the balls onto the strap - that way, my kid could take them off and on as she pleased.

After this test-run, I had to make a couple alterations to the dress to help bring in the wide shoulders of the original shirt, and to the neck of the armor to help it stay closed. And then my son pointed out that I still had the helmet to make. Shit. Helmet. Right.

So two nights before the 28th, I began the helmet using a smaller, cheap knight helmet I found at Value Village. It was an epic fail, and I decided to go with something that was more pliable and comfortable for her head. I went with a very Canadian solution.

Duct-tape.

It so happened that this purple duct-tape was also grape-scented. Bonus!

I began with a light foam for the basic shape, then used the grape-scented purple duct-tape for the final covering.

I used paint to add the orange and the lines.

I ended up finishing the helmet about 1 am on the 28th. Nothing like finishing in the nick of time!

And even though it was 2 weeks straight of panic and creativity and sewing and taping and cursing, it was SO worth it once she had it on. And she received so many compliments, she was just over the moon. What we do for our kids, eh?

Maybe next time I'll start a tad earlier, lol.

Terrifying

So I was just sitting here after a shift at work, sipping a glass of wine and surfing Facebook, when I saw a video that someone had shared.
It was one of those "social media experiments" where some young fella lures a young girl somewhere to show how easy it is to get kids nowadays into unsafe situations. Now, I have seen a couple of these, and I was feeling pretty happy-go-lucky tonight and didn't feel like watching anything that would freak me out.
But for some reason I clicked the stupid link:
http://www.sunnyskyz.com/happy-videos/2895/He-Picks-Up-A-Teenage-Girl-On-Facebook-But-Watch-What-Happens-When-Her-Parents-Find-Out

So I was about to close it at the point when he's about to meet the first girl - but then her dad jumped out, which shocked me - and I forgot. I ended up watching it, even those these videos tend to do nothing but depress me (I mean, shit like this happens every day - it IS depressing.)

But when it came to the last girl, and her parents are yelling at her, the mother's words really struck me. She was yelling at her daughter about how they had watched videos together, and read news articles, and discussed this sort of thing. It took me aback, as those are exactly the sorts of things I would do with my own kids to warn and teach them of these dangers.

And yet this girl still did it. She was educated by her parents as to the dangers of strangers through social media, and she GOT INTO AN UNMARKED VAN WITH A STRANGER.

More than any video showing me how many kids still do this, that mother's words terrified me. Because if she did all that, how am I supposed to get through to my own kids. If showing them, talking to them, warning them, TEACHING THEM, doesn't make it clear...what are parents supposed to do?

Social media and technology are the unfortunate ways of the future, so one can't cut their kids off - they'll need that knowledge and savvy to navigate their futures. I mean, at what age should kids be having their own FB pages?? I know people with young kids who let them have their own social networking page already, but is that just handing pedophiles a key to your front door? If you educate the snot out of your child, but peer pressure and the age-old desire to just feel WANTED can drive them to still let a complete stranger into their homes, is the answer is just to simply remove their ability to make such decisions? No cellphones, iPods, social media pages? And while that removes the ability to communicate, does it also castrate their tech-skills? Will it prevent them from succeeding?

It was Uncle Ben who said that "with great power, comes great responsibility." Peter Parker was a 15-year old genius, and yet it still cost his uncle's life to drill into him the reality of his situation. How are 12-year-old girls that are bombarded with daily images of a perfect body, boyfriend, and breasts supposed to fight the urge to chat with someone who finally makes them feel SEEN? My kids are 6 and 8 and they BOTH have classmates with their own phones, iPods, etc. If every kid in class has their own phone number and youTube account, is ostracizing them (by not allowing devices, etc) the equivalent of the peer-pressure they inevitably receive already??

I'm sure I'm not the only parent to think these things (Jeebus, I hope I'm not...) so I would love your thoughts. It's too complex a problem for a simple solution, unless we can gather all the pedophiles and banish them to a hellish island, in which case, yes, let's do that:)
What do you guys think? Ban the electronics and social media? Educate and educate, and then just hope for the best? Force yourself into every aspect of your child's life? Cause I'm about there...

How about you??

Catchup

I've been able to actually do a decent amount of reading (for me) considering the kids are now off school for the year!
I borrowed a couple of books from the library recently - both were fantastic!
One was Dorothy Must Die by Danielle Paige. This is the debut from the author, and I'm happy to discover that there are more in the series! It was a surprisingly fun read, and I quite enjoyed the author's version of what happened after Dorothy left Oz. The novel follows high-schooler Amy Gumm as she finds herself in Oz and given the challenge of accomplishing several gruesome tasks, the final being to kill Oz's brutal dictator: Dorothy. It was a fun one, sort of Buffy - meets - Fairuza Balk's Return to Oz - meets - The Outsiders. The second one has been put on hold at the library:)
I also borrowed Reluctantly Charmed by Ellie O'Neill, as I'm a sucker for pretty much any celtic/fae story. This one was a lovely read, ripe with Irish slang and a dreadfully mischevous version of the Fae. Kate McDaid is a twenty-something city girl looking to improve her love life and career, when she inherits a mysterious set of instructions from a witch of a Great Aunt who died over a century earlier. To inherit, she must fulfill instructions to reconnect the modern people with the forgotten Fae, putting herself through paparazzi hell - and possibly ending humanity. O'Neill's writing allows for a quick read, and this one was charming.
I devoured Longbourn by Jo Baker. I had picked it up at a recent library booksale, as I'd had my eye on the title since its release awhile back. I love me some Austen, so naturally, I was curious about this one. Baker is an excellent writer, and I loved her "version" of Pride and Prejudice from the POV of the servants. Her story runs parallel to Austen's P&P as it follows the Bennet's young servant Sarah, and her life during Austen's famous story. It is obvious Baker researched extensively, as the reader is given in-depth glimpses into the gritty world of a servant in the early nineteenth-century, with blistered hands and pre-dawn work for all! For fans of P&P, or Austenian work in general, Longbourn will be a welcome addition to your bookshelf.
I also snapped up Jodi Picoult's Leaving Time at Costco, as it
was one of her newer ones that I hadn't read yet. If you've been reading this blog for awhile, then you know I am a huge Picoult fan. This one however, was on a whole new level. I always seem to immediately get sucked into her novels, and Leaving Time was no exception. It really surprised me how much I enjoyed all the detailed information about elephants! So before I knew it, I was so involved in the characters and the elephants, Picoult did her usual rug-pulling-left-hook-U-turn and I couldn't turn the pages fast enough. I ended up sitting up in bed, bleary-eyed and wired, until FOUR IN THE MORNING. FOUR! And it all ended with me crying over fictional characters, then reluctantly looking at the clock, then almost crying over the time. I haven't read through the night since The Great Time-Traveller's Wife All-Nighter of 2005. Seriously, I never do it - it takes me days to recover, so it is a real testament to Picoult and this book especially. Her books always involve controversial topics, and this one actually had a couple. It tackled the topic of elephants in captivity, as well as the topic of psychic phenomenon. I think another big draw for me was the fact that there was no courtroom scene(s). Picoult's novels usually contain the involvement of a lawyer, but this one didn't! (Admittedly, those are my least favorite scenes in her novels, well-done as they are.) The absence of it was a pleasant surprise, and added to my overall enjoyment of this one. All in all, I can't say anymore. Just go get it and read it. But clear your schedule, first!
After THAT, I needed to change gears, so I am currently reading The Faery Reel, a short story collection edited by the formidable Datlow and Windling. I'm only a short way through it, but quite enjoying the diversity of stories so far.

Having this little bit of extra time has been great for my sanity too, as it's given me more time to write. I'm slowly making headway on the Norse faerytale I've been working on for awhile. When I don't write enough, I find I get a bit "twitchy," so really it's been good for me and anyone who is around me, lol.

Hope this summer is bringing you plenty of time to devour some good books, or do whatever it is that makes you...you.

Cheers,
Kel

Our May

Evan  playing at the Calgry Suzuki Strings Festival

Since my last post, we've had some fun here in the Komm house. The kids both had a bunch of concerts and festivals to wrap up. As always, they never fail to amaze me with their gifts (that they certainly did not inherit from me!)

Ella playing with the ESFRS

It was nice to go to Calgary for the weekend for Evan's festival, as we had a chance to check out the Spark center (their science center) which was free admission with our family's membership to OUR city's science center. Yay! I love free stuff!!

More dino robotics!

Science is so cool:)

Dino robotics at the Spark Center

Family shot!

The kids also had their annual year end school concert, again at the Winspear. As always, it was incredible. This year was a lot of fun, as it featured Canadian and Movie music, so it was a lot of great, familiar music.

Quite the show!

Sibling love:)

May ended with the kids and I taking in Eek Fest in St. Albert. It's the only little con I've taken them to, as it's been nice and quiet, now 2 years in a row but they still get to see people in costume, great booths, and fun extras. This year there was an entire arena of Lego, so they both just loved that area. There was a little corner of another arena with "zombie" shotting, which Evan and I did and that was pretty fun:) I love seeing all the artisans at cons, so this one wasn't as fun for me because it is so small, but I love seeing the kids have such a great time.

Indiana Jones and Princess Merida:)

Hope May was good to you too! 

Cheers,

Kelly

Another Day

My goodness, I've neglected you! It's so easy to let the things we love to do fall by the wayside when there are so many things that we must do. But I promise, I'll try to be more frequent:)

So, at the end of last year, I downloaded a new app to help organize my books and to prevent buying duplicates. I quite love it, but it made me realize how enormous my collection of books that I haven't read yet is getting. I decided to tackle it logically, and am going through and reading the books I've kept but not read yet, alphabetically. This has forced me to dig in a read the ones I keep putting off. And it's been great! I'm currently on the third book of The Tears of Artamon series by Sarah Ash. Each are really well-done, detailed, epic, dragon fantasies, though my typical need for something new is kicking in, so I'll be happy to finish the 3rd and begin something different.

Incredible fan art by Trev Murphy
at http://trevmurphy.com/

I'm super bummed out to be missing the Calgary Expo this year, as I just couldn't afford the expense (what with exploding cars, and such). I wasn't going to go see any celebrities, but I just love being able to walk around and see the art and meet the exhibitors, and see the cosplay. So sad:( Even more so since they announced last minute that Michonne is going to be there. THAT'S a celebrity I would spend my money meeting, dammit. Figures:(
At least I have friends going so they'll be keeping an eye out for me for new art from some of my favorite vendors.
That being said, I'm pretty excited to be taking the kids to EekFest
next month. This little con is family-friendly (and affordable!) and has devoted an entire hall to LEGO this year. My son is going to have an aneurysm when he sees that. Seriously.

Our puppy, Lennon<3

Well, I'm off to walk the dog. I have a rare day when I'm not working both jobs and actually have the time to walk him in daylight! Better get going before I get used to sitting down and doze off, lol.

Hope the day treats you well,
Kel

A Quiet Life

"I lead a small life - well, valuable, but small."
- Kathleen Kelly, You've Got Mail

When I first heard that line years ago, I loved it, but I didn't know if I could relate. Did I lead a small, quiet, insignificant existence in the vast scheme of this enormous world? Today I experienced a glimpse of what it was like for people who lead much more exciting lives, and I'm still reeling.

On my way to a town about 30 minutes outside my city, my car began to shake and emit an odd sound. I let off the gas to slow, and was promptly honked at and glared at by "inconvenienced" motorists. Before I knew it, the car let out an explosive belch, and copious amounts of smoke filled the air. In my rear view, I couldn't see anything but smoke. I quickly pulled over, as the cars behind me were blinded by the white smoke billowing from my hood.

Upon pulling over, the smoke continued, so I decided to open the hood and let it air out. It was at this moment I realized I wasn't going to get to the school I was scheduled at, in a timely fashion. Calling my boss, I got out and fiddled to open the hood. As my boss's daughter answered the phone, I lifted the hood to a flame-engulfed engine. I don't quite remember, but I may have cursed and hung up on the poor girl. (My apologies, PMK!) 

With visions of exploding vehicles in my head, I snatched my purse out of the passenger seat, and waddled into the knee-high snow to put some distance between me and the impending disaster. I called 911 and despite her varied questions, only seemed to be able to say, "my car is on fire!" I'm sure she thought I was just super capable.

At this point, I turned to see that 2 vehicles had pulled over, and both drivers were yelling at me to get further away, as it was on fire. 

"My car is on fire!" I agreed. Massive conversationalist, I am.

One man ran over wielding a small fire extinguisher, and he sprayed underneath the car. We managed to get the hood back up again, despite the heat, and he sprayed that sucker out. Well, mostly. It kept flaring up and smoking, but the fire department was on their way. The second motorist invited me to warm up in his car, as I was shaking. It wasn't just the cold, though. Pretty sure I was in shock. 

The firefighters arrived, and doused everything. They comforted now-in-full-blown-shock-me and then I was shuffled to a police officer's car, where we waited for the tow truck.

The constable eventually dropped me off at a nearby Husky station to wait for my husband. On our way to the tow truck yard, I told the hubby I'd point out where the car had taken it's final breath, only to find it and the tow truck still there. As we pulled up, another tow truck arrived, rushing to the driver's side of the first. As the ambulance arrived, we were told the poor driver had been clipped by a passing vehicle's side mirror while hooking up our car! And the dude that hit him drove off! And no one stopped to help him!

Sure enough, the same constable showed up ( I waved, stupidly) and eventually we were okay to go.

On our way home, I noticed it was only 10:02am. Felt like it had been a hellish day already. 

Honestly, I'm still a bit rattled. And I'm not sure why. I'm perfectly all right, my kids weren't with me, and I got everything out of the car without incident. Despite losing my only set of wheels, it could have been a lot worse. It made me realize my existence is small. This minor event spun me into repeated bouts of anxiety, and I can't imagine living every day with this kind of craziness. I totally get the line in that film now. Small. Really small. But valuable. 

Just want to send a few truly grateful thanks into the void: to the gentleman with the extinguisher, I can't thank you enough-you truly saved the day. To the guy who let me warm up in his SUV,  (Ryan-from edmonton-but-works-in-Spruce) thanks for your act of kindness. To the firefighters who were totally patient with my panic attack and shock, and to the Constable who waited with me and dropped me off, and didn't make me feel stupid when I had a full-blown panc attack, thanks will never be enough for all you do everyday. To the poor tow truck driver who had to go to the hospital for doing his job, thank you so much, and I am so very sorry that the world is full of people like whoever hit you. (But don't worry, karma will win in the end:)

I appreciate my small life sooo much more now. I will take my quiet existence over a loud, dramatic one any day.

ANY.

DAY.