We ♥ Barbie

So for many years, I have had discussions with other Moms about Barbie and her supposed negative

influence. When my daughter was a toddler, she began to enjoy Barbie movies and I felt their messages were clear and positive: Girls are strong and can do anything, friends and loyalty are important.

There's major physical differences
here, right? Right? Hello?

There were always Moms who disagreed, referencing Barbie's impossible figure, and first-world fashion standards. Now, I did (and do) find it silly that every single person in every single Barbie movie has the same height and body shape, but I never felt that was a point of importance to my daughter. All the Mario characters for Nintendo are short and plump. Do parents frown on this because it encourages obesity? As parents, shouldn't we encourage our children to see what is actually meaningful? Pretty sure that if a child wants to watch a Barbie movie because it looks fun and their parent tells them "no" because Barbie is too skinny, it's the parent causing the damage - not Barbie.

Now, Ella's first favorite Barbie movie was Barbie in The Three Musketeers. She wanted to be a musketeer for her preschool Halloween party, and I think we even wrote in her school record book that she wanted to be a musketeer when she grew up. It was the adventure she loved; the fact that Barbie and her friends kicked ass in skirts and sparkly tops, foiling the plan of the accented villain. She got to ride horses and had a sword, and an adorable kitty sidekick. But she also made mistakes she atoned for, made new friends, and overcame sexism. 

As she grew, we encountered many Moms who disapproved of Ella's love for Barbie movies and books. But I stayed resolute in what I felt she was taking from them. She wanted to be a surfer, and a rock star, and a ballerina, and a princess, and a fairy, and a

 teacher, and a scientist. The funny thing is, Ella never played with the dolls. With her love of the movies and books, she was given several, and I passed on mine to her, but she picked them up for a handful of minutes maybe 3 times a year. Dolls have never appealed to her, but Barbie's adventures and messages of friendship and girl power have.

Classic Barbie vs. Realistic Barbie

After a completely surprising comment she made the other day, I am convinced that the negative view on Barbie's figure is actually another symptom of what we raise our children to see, and how. In the years of Barbie thus far with my daughter, we have NEVER, not once discussed Barbie's breast-size, waist-size, height, or skin-colour. We have however, discussed how brave she is, why she made the choices she did in a particular movie or book, why friendship is important, how strong she is, how practice makes someone better at something, why it's important to stand up for your beliefs, and more.
A couple of days ago, my son and I were discussing one of the (many) professions I have had over the years when my daughter burst out in exclamation at my having another "thing" I could do.
"Mom, you're just like Barbie!"
Now, my immediate reaction was to laugh, as I am physically the farthest thing from Barbie you could pretty much imagine. "Oh, am I? Is it my long, blond hair?" I asked her as I flipped my brown/faded pink mop over my shoulder.
At this she squinched up her face and sort of laughed and went back to her drawing. She was confused. I ended up on another task, but her statement stuck with me. It was a little later when I realized what she had meant.
She thinks Barbie can do anything; she is the ultimate renaissance-woman. She has even said so over the years. And she sorted me into that category in her mind.
My kid had paid me the absolute compliment, and she didn't even see it that way. It was me who had immediately thought of Barbie's physical form, not her.
So I proudly disagree with anyone who says that Barbie is a negative influence on young girls.

Everyone has legs like this, right?

Super realistic, right?

Those proportions are totally
spot on!

Yes, I feel she is physically unrealistic, just like virtually every pop culture icon found in Anime and cartoons, not to mention the American film industry. No, I don't feel that she represents a realistic lifestyle for the vast majority of the world - and not just her fantasy movies. But I truly believe that if parents are active with their children in talking to them about what they watch and experience through media in all its forms, Barbie is an excellent role model for girls.

Barbie shows girls that they can do anything.
So, who is telling them otherwise?

Beanie Boo Party

A couple weekends ago, we celebrated my daughter's 7th birthday with a Beanie Boo party. She's totally obsessed with them. Any doll stuff she has, she uses with the Beanie Boo's. Barbie cars are driven by them, doll clothes are worn by them, and any boxes around the house become homes, spaceships, or vehicles for them. Any money she got for Christmas was spent on Beanie Boos. Under her loft bed, she has a MOUND of stuffies.

She ended up with only six of her friends able to make it, but it was really nice with only a few crazy girls running around:)

Aside from devouring snacks and juice, the first activity was to make some party hats for the Beanie Boos. We had just hit up the dollar store for stickers and ribbon and pom poms and I printed out easy templates online. Once each of their Beanie Boos were properly outfitted, they played Pin the Eyes on the Beanie Boo. This was fun to make, but I ended up with a very adult problem initially. After I drew Magic the Unicorn Beanie Boo (Ella's first/favorite Beanie Boo), I sent the pic to a couple friends to show them how it turned out. My ignorant mind was happily full of innocent thoughts when I sent it out:

D'ya see it? 

Now?

Yeah...

Now it's ALL I see. My terrible shading. I was going off of this picture, after all. And it was the night before the party that poor Magic's out-of-control Beanie bush was brought to my attention. 

Now, my daughter was really excited about the game, so I couldn't just scrap the picture. And she loved her little feet, so I couldn't just cut off the bottom. I ended up coming up with a little cover-up to make it less of a porno Beanie Boo.

Sigh. At least none of the kids or their parents know how accidentally inappropriate THAT game was! And they had a lot of fun playing it, laughing at each other, and spinning around. So in the end, the game was a success.

 After they played for a bit, we sang Happy Birthday, and the kids had some cake while colouring some Beanie Boo pictures I printed off the Ty website, here.
I (of course) wanted to make Ella a really elaborate cake with fondant Beanie Boos all over it, but she asked for just a simple round cake on a platform where she could hang her keychain Beanie Boos from, and with one on top. It was all sorts of awesome not to have to worry about making a big fancy cake!

  After cake and colouring, the kids played just played with their Beanie Boos while the grown ups tidied up a bit. Then we brought out the Beanie Boo bingo game that I had purchased on Etsy, for less than ten bucks, from here. I think most of the kids had fun with this one, when they were winning, that is. They would pass around the boards after each round, and the girls loved talking about the different Beanie Boos.

 Ella also asked for donations for the food bank in lieu of gifts, and a good portion of her friends did give her donations, which was great. She still received some gifts, which was a nice balance. She's excited to bring her donations in, though.

In the end, I think she had a fantastic time, which is what makes it all worthwhile<3

Readin'

So it's been months since I shared what I've been reading, and I know I'll forget a few, but here's tryin'...

I know in November, I picked up Tower of Thorns (actually I received it in the mail the day it was released:-D) by Juliet Marillier. As you probably know if you follow what I read, she is one of my all-time favorites. I have all her books in first edition HC. As the next installment in her Blackthorn and Grim series, this one was another treat. Well-written, interesting plot, while still giving the reader a little bit more answers of the mysteries behind the series' namesakes. Still love her. I don't know how it happens, but I can't help but be swept away by every one of her books. Wish she released more than one a year!!

During these months, I ended up getting A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas from the library, unaware that the author had already written a series that was widely received. I quite enjoyed her new one, though I found it a bit angsty at times - an unfortunate by-product of some teen novels. I admit, I often get the stories mixed up between this one and Red Queen, as I read them back to back in a short time period. But I did enjoy it, and I'm intrigued to read the next installment.

Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard. I didn't want to initially pick this up, as there was so much hype around it. (I can't help but want to avoid the books the whole world is crazy about - I don't know why!) But I put it on hold at the library and was surprised to find I really enjoyed it. So much that when my time with it was up and I wasn't done it (due to picking it up at the same time as A Court of Thorns and Roses and not finishing it in time) I ended up buying it off Amazon. It was really quite enjoyable, and I'm looking forward to reading Glass Sword when it's released.

I know somewhere in here I read Winter by Marissa Meyer. Must've been shortly after it was released at the end of 2015. I was SOOO excited for this one, as it was the conclusion of The Lunar Chronicles, as I wasn't disappointed. It was well done, without feeling like Meyer rushed the end. If anything, she dragged out a cohesive wrap-up. Without any detailed spoilers, I like how it was (mostly) a happy ending for everyone. I still thoroughly enjoyed it, and am excited for what this author brings us next.

I was doing a lot of writing at this time, and I don't like to read fiction when I'm heavily writing, so I picked up The Organized Mind again. I've tried to get through this book before because I really want to get through it, but UGGGGGHHHH I cannot seem to stay with it. I'm not a big non-fiction reader as it is ( I prefer audiobooks for non-fiction) and I totally stalled again. Someday...

I'm currently reading Stitching Snow by R.C. Lewis. I borrowed this one from the library after seeing it pop up on my recommendations. Only about halfway through it, but I'm enjoying it so far. It does remind me a lot of Cinder (with the whole lost princess becomes miraculous tech-genius) but I'm really trying to push that aside and enjoy the story. We'll see how I feel at the end, lol.

I'm also listening to an audiobook of Brain Maker by David Pearlmutter. I've only just begun it (and so far the reader's voice is driving me nuts) but the subject matter is quite interesting. It discusses how the food we eat and the condition of our "gut" can affect our brain as well as a myriad of neuro-related problems. He also talks about how changing our diet can help alleviate things like depression, MS, celiac-disease, obesity, IBS, autism, and more. Not very far in yet, but really interesting thus far.

I'm hoping to start diving back into some hard-core writing, so I think I'll hold off on some fiction after I finish Stitching Snow, but that likely won't happen for very long, lol. Hope you found some good reading lately!

Cheers!

Kelly

Creative Constipation

It's funny how frustrating creative constipation can be.
Well, funny for everyone else, I suppose.
For me, it's been like my brain is bung-ed up and I have a constant noise in my mind with all the ideas and possibilities crammed together in a teeny, tiny space. I imagine my resulting bitchiness has been a delight to be around.

I wrote a story several years ago, and have been avoiding the dreaded rewrite. But seriously, this shit needs to be done - the story has potential. The major flaws in it are the main veins of the story, though. And I've been wracking my brain for almost three weeks trying to iron out the answers. Because they involve the very roots of the story, and I don't want to lose certain elements, it's been excruciating trying to find the answer.

When I'm working, I'm thinking about The Story. When I'm driving, I'm thinking about The Story. When I'm doing homework with the kids, I'm thinking about The Story. Virtually everything I do has been permeated by this fucking Story.

But last night, I had a breakthrough. And it was from - as Tolkien said, - "The unlikeliest of creatures." My very un-literary, guitarist-husband, Kyle.

I was ranting about my creative constipation (again) and I concluded with, "-AND IT'S SO FUCKING FRUSTRATING! It would be as if you had a song you couldn't figure out!"
He uncharacteristically answered wisely: "Well, when I can't figure out a song, it usually means I have to figure out my tuning. Maybe you just need to figure out your tuning?"

I think I probably growled in response, but I then had a long, hot bath and thought about what he said.
Change my tuning.
Maybe I was looking at these plot knots all wrong. Maybe if I changed how I was looking at my story, and changed what I expected my character to do, and why, I could muddle through this.

I ended up soaking in the tub for over an hour just pondering my story and I worked through a few points, but I wasn't there yet. I still kept asking myself WHY on a few elements.

So I went to sleep, and got up with the kids to get them ready for school.
As they were eating breakfast, I was in the kitchen stretching.
*BACK STORY* Just so this next part makes sense, I have been suffering some massive back pain, as well as working 2 jobs to frantically cover our finances, while dealing with some stressful family drama. 
So the husband walks in, and I'm bent over touching my toes, and I moan about how sore my back is, and he replies, "Why? From carrying the weight of the family on it?" (Lol, smart-ass!)
And just like that, the fog lifted. His comment made everything click into place with my story. I didn't need to keep asking why, why, why does my character has to do all these things, and sacrifice everything? She has to. Just like I am stuck doing what I have to everyday, she has to sacrifice as well. It's just the card we were dealt.

And like that, the floodgates are open. Ideas and answers are flowing like a freakin' river!
But, of course, I have no time to write.
I have to go to work.
*le sigh*

Hello Again!

Hi! Remember me? Geez, I can't believe how long it's been! Seriously!

Now, I'm nowhere near ready to tackle a book update, since it's been months since my last post. BUT, I'm gonna share a big one I began in November and never actually posted: The process I went through to give my daughter a kick-ass Honey Lemon costume for Halloween this past October. I wanted to share this mostly because there was limited resources online for me, and someone else might end up needing the same thing! So here goes!

Summer 2015 - First viewing of Big Hero 6
My daughter decides she HAS to be Honey Lemon for Halloween this year; we all agree Honey Lemon looks like the grown-up version of her.

September 2015
My daughter reminds me that she wants to be Honey Lemon for Halloween this year. I look online to discover that thankfully, such a costume exists. I shrug it off. No problem, we'll be able to find that.

October 1st-7th, 2015
The daughter reminds again. Repeatedly. So excited to be Honey Lemon. Can't wait to be Honey Lemon. Hey Mom, when are we getting my Honey Lemon costume? I keep reminding myself that I should really get online and find out the best place to get it, ie: the cheapest.

October 8th-13th, 2015
Start popping into stores to find that no one has any idea what I'm talking about. Honey who? Oh! Big Hero 6! Yes, we have Baymax. Or Hiro. That's it.

October 14th, 2015
I go online again. There it is, phew. What's that? What do you mean SOLD OUT? Soooooo...guess I'm making this thing. At least I have almost 3 weeks. What's that, honey? Your school costume day is the 28th. Oh, no problem. 2 weeks? Oh, sure, no problem. Sure, sure.

So, after haunting Pinterest, I found a few cosplays, and a few parents like me who did this up for their kids. The only thing was, they did theirs over several months.
Yikes.
So head down, ass up, into the foray I went.
To remind you, this is Honey Lemon:

The first thing tackled was the chem-balls. I bought styrofoam balls, skewered them into an empty box, and then spray painted them in the red, purple, and orange of Honey Lemon's chem-balls.

Next, I tackled her dress. Now, I'm hella cheap and at this point I'm terrified of my impending deadline. So I figure I'll hit up a Value Village and find one easy-peasy. Right? Yeah, not so much. So I settle for a terrible 2XL flashy, sleeveless tee. And over a couple days of altering and adding trim, I turn it into a dress that sort-of, kind-of resembles Honey Lemon's.

I found the purple leggings at Walmart for $4, and thought the best way to match the arms to the leggings was to use the same thing. So I bought a second pair, cut them up, and sewed them on as the long sleeves. My daughter was mortified that she'd be wearing pants on her arms.

After that, I began the armor. I lucked out by finding a pleather-looking fabric in the clearance section of the fabric store. I was so pumped that it looked like leather, but felt like a stretchy spandex, that way it would look very real, but be stretchy and comfortable for my kid. My bubble was burst when the fabric store associate informed me it went on clearance because it was just awful to work with. And she was right, it SUCKED to sew. I ended up having to come up with some pretty creative ways to sew this to the padding, since it would NOT sew to itself. 

Once the torturous process was over, I was actually really happy with how it turned out - especially since I had done it in only a few evenings. I also decided against the "breast" armor. After all, she was only 6.

The last thing was the purse. Yikes.

I had left it for last, because it was so daunting. I had found a purse at Value Village in the sort-of-right shape, but had a really hard time finding a fabric in the right shade of orange to cover it with. I eventually went with a roll of this "all-purpose fabric" from Walmart. It was $10 and I didn't even know if it would work. Supposedly you could glue, sew, etc with this "fabric." Turns out, this shit was AWESOME to work with.

I stripped the purse of it's adornments and straps, and I found a yellow edging to sew onto the fabric. I covered the little bag and sewed an open top onto a back, to make the front flap. I used printable fabric paper from Staples to print the design of Honey Lemon's buttons for her purse. I wanted something that I would be able to shine a light through. Here is the picture I found on Pinterest from that awesome Dad who did this for his daughter:

Then I sewed the flap onto the purse body.

I knew my daughter wouldn't be able to use the purse as a purse, as the most important piece was making it so the buttons could light up. Now, the Pinterest Dad that made this purse for his kid had painstakingly ran wires to light up each individual button on the screen. I had zero time for that, so I opted for a flat light that my daughter could press to make the whole screen light up. After all, at this point, I had only about 4 days left before her costume day at school. I found a flat purse light at the Dollar Store, and sewed it into the opening behind the fabric paper. The end result was actually super cool.

It then occurred to me that I hadn't even had my daughter try any of this on yet, and holy crap, it better fit! Here is our first test-run.

I made a wide strap for all the balls to fit onto, the way Honey Lemon wears hers. Since the orange fabric was all-purpose, it reacted to adhesive wonderfully, so I used an adhesive Velcro to stick all the balls onto the strap - that way, my kid could take them off and on as she pleased.

After this test-run, I had to make a couple alterations to the dress to help bring in the wide shoulders of the original shirt, and to the neck of the armor to help it stay closed. And then my son pointed out that I still had the helmet to make. Shit. Helmet. Right.

So two nights before the 28th, I began the helmet using a smaller, cheap knight helmet I found at Value Village. It was an epic fail, and I decided to go with something that was more pliable and comfortable for her head. I went with a very Canadian solution.

Duct-tape.

It so happened that this purple duct-tape was also grape-scented. Bonus!

I began with a light foam for the basic shape, then used the grape-scented purple duct-tape for the final covering.

I used paint to add the orange and the lines.

I ended up finishing the helmet about 1 am on the 28th. Nothing like finishing in the nick of time!

And even though it was 2 weeks straight of panic and creativity and sewing and taping and cursing, it was SO worth it once she had it on. And she received so many compliments, she was just over the moon. What we do for our kids, eh?

Maybe next time I'll start a tad earlier, lol.

Terrifying

So I was just sitting here after a shift at work, sipping a glass of wine and surfing Facebook, when I saw a video that someone had shared.
It was one of those "social media experiments" where some young fella lures a young girl somewhere to show how easy it is to get kids nowadays into unsafe situations. Now, I have seen a couple of these, and I was feeling pretty happy-go-lucky tonight and didn't feel like watching anything that would freak me out.
But for some reason I clicked the stupid link:
http://www.sunnyskyz.com/happy-videos/2895/He-Picks-Up-A-Teenage-Girl-On-Facebook-But-Watch-What-Happens-When-Her-Parents-Find-Out

So I was about to close it at the point when he's about to meet the first girl - but then her dad jumped out, which shocked me - and I forgot. I ended up watching it, even those these videos tend to do nothing but depress me (I mean, shit like this happens every day - it IS depressing.)

But when it came to the last girl, and her parents are yelling at her, the mother's words really struck me. She was yelling at her daughter about how they had watched videos together, and read news articles, and discussed this sort of thing. It took me aback, as those are exactly the sorts of things I would do with my own kids to warn and teach them of these dangers.

And yet this girl still did it. She was educated by her parents as to the dangers of strangers through social media, and she GOT INTO AN UNMARKED VAN WITH A STRANGER.

More than any video showing me how many kids still do this, that mother's words terrified me. Because if she did all that, how am I supposed to get through to my own kids. If showing them, talking to them, warning them, TEACHING THEM, doesn't make it clear...what are parents supposed to do?

Social media and technology are the unfortunate ways of the future, so one can't cut their kids off - they'll need that knowledge and savvy to navigate their futures. I mean, at what age should kids be having their own FB pages?? I know people with young kids who let them have their own social networking page already, but is that just handing pedophiles a key to your front door? If you educate the snot out of your child, but peer pressure and the age-old desire to just feel WANTED can drive them to still let a complete stranger into their homes, is the answer is just to simply remove their ability to make such decisions? No cellphones, iPods, social media pages? And while that removes the ability to communicate, does it also castrate their tech-skills? Will it prevent them from succeeding?

It was Uncle Ben who said that "with great power, comes great responsibility." Peter Parker was a 15-year old genius, and yet it still cost his uncle's life to drill into him the reality of his situation. How are 12-year-old girls that are bombarded with daily images of a perfect body, boyfriend, and breasts supposed to fight the urge to chat with someone who finally makes them feel SEEN? My kids are 6 and 8 and they BOTH have classmates with their own phones, iPods, etc. If every kid in class has their own phone number and youTube account, is ostracizing them (by not allowing devices, etc) the equivalent of the peer-pressure they inevitably receive already??

I'm sure I'm not the only parent to think these things (Jeebus, I hope I'm not...) so I would love your thoughts. It's too complex a problem for a simple solution, unless we can gather all the pedophiles and banish them to a hellish island, in which case, yes, let's do that:)
What do you guys think? Ban the electronics and social media? Educate and educate, and then just hope for the best? Force yourself into every aspect of your child's life? Cause I'm about there...

How about you??

Catchup

I've been able to actually do a decent amount of reading (for me) considering the kids are now off school for the year!
I borrowed a couple of books from the library recently - both were fantastic!
One was Dorothy Must Die by Danielle Paige. This is the debut from the author, and I'm happy to discover that there are more in the series! It was a surprisingly fun read, and I quite enjoyed the author's version of what happened after Dorothy left Oz. The novel follows high-schooler Amy Gumm as she finds herself in Oz and given the challenge of accomplishing several gruesome tasks, the final being to kill Oz's brutal dictator: Dorothy. It was a fun one, sort of Buffy - meets - Fairuza Balk's Return to Oz - meets - The Outsiders. The second one has been put on hold at the library:)
I also borrowed Reluctantly Charmed by Ellie O'Neill, as I'm a sucker for pretty much any celtic/fae story. This one was a lovely read, ripe with Irish slang and a dreadfully mischevous version of the Fae. Kate McDaid is a twenty-something city girl looking to improve her love life and career, when she inherits a mysterious set of instructions from a witch of a Great Aunt who died over a century earlier. To inherit, she must fulfill instructions to reconnect the modern people with the forgotten Fae, putting herself through paparazzi hell - and possibly ending humanity. O'Neill's writing allows for a quick read, and this one was charming.
I devoured Longbourn by Jo Baker. I had picked it up at a recent library booksale, as I'd had my eye on the title since its release awhile back. I love me some Austen, so naturally, I was curious about this one. Baker is an excellent writer, and I loved her "version" of Pride and Prejudice from the POV of the servants. Her story runs parallel to Austen's P&P as it follows the Bennet's young servant Sarah, and her life during Austen's famous story. It is obvious Baker researched extensively, as the reader is given in-depth glimpses into the gritty world of a servant in the early nineteenth-century, with blistered hands and pre-dawn work for all! For fans of P&P, or Austenian work in general, Longbourn will be a welcome addition to your bookshelf.
I also snapped up Jodi Picoult's Leaving Time at Costco, as it
was one of her newer ones that I hadn't read yet. If you've been reading this blog for awhile, then you know I am a huge Picoult fan. This one however, was on a whole new level. I always seem to immediately get sucked into her novels, and Leaving Time was no exception. It really surprised me how much I enjoyed all the detailed information about elephants! So before I knew it, I was so involved in the characters and the elephants, Picoult did her usual rug-pulling-left-hook-U-turn and I couldn't turn the pages fast enough. I ended up sitting up in bed, bleary-eyed and wired, until FOUR IN THE MORNING. FOUR! And it all ended with me crying over fictional characters, then reluctantly looking at the clock, then almost crying over the time. I haven't read through the night since The Great Time-Traveller's Wife All-Nighter of 2005. Seriously, I never do it - it takes me days to recover, so it is a real testament to Picoult and this book especially. Her books always involve controversial topics, and this one actually had a couple. It tackled the topic of elephants in captivity, as well as the topic of psychic phenomenon. I think another big draw for me was the fact that there was no courtroom scene(s). Picoult's novels usually contain the involvement of a lawyer, but this one didn't! (Admittedly, those are my least favorite scenes in her novels, well-done as they are.) The absence of it was a pleasant surprise, and added to my overall enjoyment of this one. All in all, I can't say anymore. Just go get it and read it. But clear your schedule, first!
After THAT, I needed to change gears, so I am currently reading The Faery Reel, a short story collection edited by the formidable Datlow and Windling. I'm only a short way through it, but quite enjoying the diversity of stories so far.

Having this little bit of extra time has been great for my sanity too, as it's given me more time to write. I'm slowly making headway on the Norse faerytale I've been working on for awhile. When I don't write enough, I find I get a bit "twitchy," so really it's been good for me and anyone who is around me, lol.

Hope this summer is bringing you plenty of time to devour some good books, or do whatever it is that makes you...you.

Cheers,
Kel