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Sunday, August 14, 2016

Yes, I'm Letting My Son Do That.

A blog post.

 In which I defend my parenting, and my right to support my male child of nine in his decision to make a choice about his own body.


Yes, I support my son's decision to get both his ears pierced. How is it any different from your nine-year-old daughter's request to do the same? Is it written, or stated, or stamped somewhere that ear-piercing is solely for females? If you think it is, I highly recommend reading a history book. King Tut, Julius Caesar, the oldest mummy found thus far... perhaps read about them?

No, I do not feel this is indicative of "homosexual behavior," HOWEVER, if it were, I would not change my decision to support him. If you are looking to make me feel like my son getting his ears pierced is "gay," you are wrong. (And shame on you for trying to draw negativity to homosexuals.) Homosexuality is not a "fashion." An earring in a specific ear (or both) has nothing to do with one's sexual orientation, but their self-expression. Men have been piercing their ears and wearing earrings for thousands of years. That's a fact.

Yes, I have waited and ensured my son has thought deeply about this decision. While it is not permanent, my husband and I believe any sort of change to our physical appearances warrants consideration.

No, I do not think my son will have an easy time with this among his peers. Just as I have seen how adults have reacted and judged him when he has told them about wanting to pierce his ears, kids will be worse because (some) parents continue to teach prejudice, gender assumptions, and general hate. I expect him to be bullied and teased for this. I have discussed this with him in order to prepare him, and he is adamant in his decision. And I support and defend his right to express himself in a positive way. He shouldn't be ostracized for it, though I know he will be:(

Yes, I imagine his decision is partially due to being raised in a very liberal, open-minded household where freedom of expression and independence are celebrated. My husband and I have multiple tattoos, and have had/do have multiple piercings, and I usually  have my hair coloured some vibrant hue. My husband has both ears pierced and stretched to about 25 mm (I think). We also openly discuss themes with our children that they may come across in movies, or hear about at school or on a billboard, etc. We discuss love and hate, heroes and villains, right and wrong, and everything and anything that we feel will help our children to grow develop into kind, considerate thinkers.

No, I don't care if you think it is wrong, or girly, or gay, or whatever other word you feel labels ear piercing, that I allow my son to pierce his ears. Your opinion is your own and you are entitled to it. I have an opinion on piercing the ears of babies, but I have yet to make anyone feel like shit for their decision.

Yes, I DO care, however, if you tease, bully, or otherwise hurt my son for wanting to be unique and remaining convicted in his choice. You may not agree with it, but don't you DARE make him feel poorly. EVER.

No, I do not think this will lead to my son becoming obsessed with body modification. If anyone will be responsible for that, it will be the media, and our body-shaming society. (But that's another rant altogether.) Besides, did you ask that question to the little girl in the princess dress wanting to get her ears pierced?
I didn't think so.

All I ask, is that perhaps you could hold off your judgement against my son's decision, and really look at why you feel the way you do. Because most of the world's generalizations are due to someone deciding something should be a certain way, and everyone else adopting it.
Like sheep.
Don't be a sheep.
And if you don't agree with my son's choice, don't be an asshole and make him feel bad about it. That's just bad form.

And if you don't believe me about generalizations, maybe look up some history on pink and blue being assigned to certain genders. That's a good one too:)